It has been too long good people

Firstly, I must apologise for my abstinence from blogging. I have an excuse, but it is feeble, so I won't bother mentioning it. The difficult thing about leaving it so long is knowing where to begin. I have been in 5 different states and countless casinos, bars and gentleman's clubs. I have drunk enough beer to put on a stone (14lbs for you Yankees) and eaten everything from oysters and caviar to Waffle House and Burger King. I am going to break it into four or five blogs so as not to bore you all.
It all begun back in Myrtle beach, on the invitational golf trip to South Carolina. The first thing I noticed about Myrtle beach, was that it is still ok to call a particular week of the year, "Black Biker Week". At first I presumed that all of the bikers(and there were ALOT of them) must have been riding black bikes, but alas, I soon found out that the previous week, had been "White Biker Week", courtesy of my informative taxi driver. I will leave you to form whatever opinions you want about the prejudices of particular regions of the United States, and will add that there weren't too many Harley's parked up outside The Caledonian golf club.
The whole trip was a bit of a blur, I remember playing outstanding golf on the first day before I had drunk anything, and then I remember not remembering anything for the rest of the trip, and not winning any money at golf. I did however have two business cards in my wallet, one had the name Tim on it with a number and the other was for a 'bail bonds' company. All I could deduce was that the little beer gremlins that were bouncing on my head each morning, must have also stolen all of the money out of my wallet the night before and replaced it with two things which would utterly confuse me.

Sharks all over the course and crocs watching every tee! Realistically what chance did I have.

It was a great trip, that was worth every penny and I met some really good people from the American poker world. I'm not sure that stormy east coast is the best destination for a golf trip, there were at least two occasions that I thought I was going to get struck by lightning and it was damn sticky all the time. Myrtle itself just seemed tired. Everywhere needs a lick of paint, or a florescent bulb replacing so if you are thinking of starting a new business to beat the impending economic implosion (Lord F 2012) that might just be it. Although thinking about it, they might just let Myrtle fall into the Atlantic when that happens, and start over again in twenty years. For those who know it, it reminded me of happy times in Blackpool, but a whole lot warmer, with a nicer beach.

That is all for now

Lord F

Little Teaser for the next episode;

 

Who said dog is man's best friend; 'Canine leads Lord F down garden path in strategic bluff'.

Inactivity apology

I'm very sorry for my period of inactivity, it has been mainly due to the fact I have been in an alcohol fuelled coma for 8 days. It was meant to be a nice relaxing trip ahead of the upcoming Vegas grind, but I now need a break to recover from the break. I shall write a full post in the next 24hrs, but I have to pop off to Malibu Vineyard for the picnic and jazz afternoon with Lady F.
They say mental preparation for the World series of poker is crucial, well I should be in great shape because I haven't used my mind, except to tell my right hand to lift beer and my mouth to swallow. Time to get civilised, and begin the countdown.
T minus 4 days, and its crush time.
as always, be lucky

The Lord

A long frustrating week

 On Tuesday, I decided I would press on with my new found golf confidence, and get an early morning round in with the usual chaps. Fresh off the back of a win last time out, I continued my new vein of good form, much to their consternation and managed to shoot an 80. This is my first ever single figure score over par(9 over), and could have been a good deal better had I not finished double bogey, bogey, double bogey. The trouble with playing like this, is that the handicap police are out in force and they try as hard as they can to get strokes off you next time out. I wish I could say I finished weakly intentionally to keep these fellows interested, but alas, I did not.
Anyway, moving on, after golf I returned to Commerce at 3pm to play the $1k tournament which had 61 players. Now, I was a little concerned prior to entering about the early wake up and a late finish but I spoke to my good friend Matt Savage, who is without doubt the best tournament director in the world, and he assured me that day 1 would be finished by 2 am at the latest.
I was sitting comfortably second in chips with 10 players left, as we went down to the final table and it was 12.30 am. Ooooh thinks Lord F, great, this will be wrapped up inside an hour and I can have a good nights sleep and come back tomorrow to try and buffer the coffers with a few more Greenbacks. A wise man once told me, 'assumptions are dangerous things to make, like bombs' (Earl Seden of Botley).
The three short stacked players all doubled up against the odds. In fact every single incident that occurred, happened at a less than a 30% likelihood for the following 4 hrs. The long and the short of it was that at 5.45 am I was the 8th man out, and for my 15 hours of play I earned exactly $0.
I was fairly miffed to say the least, and the icing on the cake was that having been up for 24 hrs and being tired beyond belief, I now had to drive home in morning rush hour traffic, which took me forty minutes longer than it should have.
I decided Wednesday would be a day of rest and recuperation. I decided to venture out and invest in a pipe, and some wonderfully flavoured cherry tobacco. It did have a very calming influence on my mood, although on the flip side, according to Lady F the pungent aroma's did get stuck in the whiskers. With pipe in mouth and the good Lady in hand, to the beach we headed. The waves crashing, the blue sky, a fine smoke and a good Lady on your arm, melted away the angst. After a wonderful stroll we filled our bellies with Boeuf Wellington washed down with a fine Malbec at a marvellous English establishment, just what the doctor ordered.

Finally I was able to start considering the lessons learnt from the previous days shenanigans. It was foolish of me to get up at the crack of dawn and play golf with the 'chance' of  a late finish, however again it was another deep run in a very competitive field. My glass will always be half full dear readers, mind you as I clambered into my bed I noticed black tar all over my feet. I must have managed to find the only two hidden patches of bitumen on the beach, and the stuff doesn't bloody well come off. (was nice having Lady F scrub my feet for an hour or so as I drifted off, that's how we Lords roll)

puff

Lord F

A California state champion

Well, for those of you who don't yet follow my tweets, I became a State champion yesterday. The $125 pot limit omaha rebuy event was won by yours truly. For those of you unfamiliar with Omaha, its another one of the many types of poker game, where you are dealt four cards instead of just two. Jolly good game, with many more different combinations to tinker with, and at the end of the day, it's still poker, and it's still a trophy. In fact a rather attractive bear, which is the state symbol of California.

Here is your first portrait of Lord F in action

Lets just hope we can turn this win into a little hot streak, and take it back to Las Vegas for the World Series of Poker.

This is why it is called Bear Hunting, and I managed to win myself a coveted bear. Its a bloody heavy little bugger, hmmmm, now to try and persuade Lady F that it will look good on the mantelpiece in 'position A' back at the stately home.

Advertising: The perils of American understanding

Having just been sat, enjoying my morning cup of tea, watching the wrapping up of the premier league football season, when this pops up on a TV commercial.

For our American cousins in the advertising world, Newcastle is a town in the north of England. Bollocks is an expletetive of the highest order, and should not be used on television before 9pm. Especially when the majority of American 'soccer' players are children under 16 years old. For the record, Bollocks are in fact the two dangling things most males have between their legs, so what this commercial is actually saying is that Newcastle is a fearful, weak place which no one would want to go to, or that its full of women.
In any case I'm pretty certain last time I checked that no beer I have ever drunk has any 'Bollocks' anyway.

Make of that what you will

Lord F

Going Loco down in Myrtle beach(doesn't quite have the same ring to it)

Well folks, mark down the date, the 11th of May 2012 is a historic day in the life of Lord Furnival. I finally, at the 10th time of trying won on the golf course.
Whilst it might seem that it has all been part of an elaborate hustle, I can confirm that it has not, and that finally I am beginning to strike the ball well. Actually, had it not been for the fact that I still had the finesse of a raging bull elephant around the greens, I might have even posted better than I did. Still, thoroughly enjoyable to win a few greenbacks to put towards the Myrtle beach trip I have coming up. A fairly unknown quantity this golf tournament I have been lured into playing. The only things I know for sure, are that each of the 48 participants will be trying to fleece me of my dollars, I won't be able to understand any of the Southern Carolina drawl, and the average age of Myrtle beach is 71. Let us see what they make of Harris tweed, red corduroy and the Queens English I say.  Lord F is going to go down a storm, but I shall need to have my wits about me, me thinks.

I am taking a few days off from the tournaments which have been ruling my life, to make sure I don't start talking to shadows, or trying to communicate with the mother ship. They are very mind numbing, the lengthy periods of concentration combined with the senseless table chatter one has to endure. Sun, golf and Lady Furnival should take care of the R and R, then back to the grindstone on Monday. OOOH, that reminds me, Lady Furnival Roast luncheon on Sunday, I will definitely let you all know about that (I would argue that hers are the best in all of the lands), what a way to end the weekend.

Be Lucky

Lord F

A shorter post

As soon as they hear my accent, many fellow competitors automatically chirp up with, "where you from? Australia?"
To which I politely reply, "Gosh no, dear chap, England. It's a little island in the North sea."
Well this is always greeted with a confused look, but most of them catch on in the end.
The next two questions are always, "do you support Manchester? And who are the new bands on the scene?"
I suppose there could be worse things for our country to be famous for amongst our American cousins, and I'm not about to start explaining that there are more than two football teams in Manchester. It would better to be famous for amazing history and fine cheeses but anyhow, I digress.

Whilst I wouldn't necessarily say that I am a music guru, I have been known to growl along to Shaggy, or tweak my whiskers to the spice girls in my time. I have found a band, kind of a 'folk rock' if you like. They might be a smite too 'gospel-y' but they get the thumbs up from Lord F!
Give them a try, 'Dry the river'

Be lucky